splitbrain

WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS FUCKERY?!




I AM NOT WEARING MY OWN PANTS! MORE ON THIS SOON!!!


YESTERDAY MORNING:

Talked to Delia. IT WAS SO CHARMING

YESTERDAY AFTERNOON:

Talked to her again. IT WAS TWICE AS CHARMING She said 'no.'

YESTERDAY EVENING:

Got smashed and don't clearly remember much after the last bottle of Jack. Shots were involved. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY And alot of Jagermeister. I do however recall saying some fairly incendiary things to Keane while coming to the tail end of the Jack. I said I'd bang his not-girlfriend and am curiously free of bar stools jammed down my throat. This equates to me a severe lack of spine. IT'S NOT HARSH IF ITS TRUE. It’s totally possible I’m not getting an interview after that stunt. Also, I may be drinking too much.

I’m told that there was a power outage last night, which explains why I couldn’t find my way back to my cabin but does not explain how I woke up by the pool wearing someone else’s pants. This card was in the pocket and evidently these are his pants LEAVES ME TO WONDER THE FATE OF MY PANTS and he let me borrow them. Flint in room F-6270 who may or may not be a call-card leaving ass-ninja who likes Bon Jovi. IF HE RAPED ME I'M WRITING ABOUT IT. More on this later. I LOST MY FUCKING BAG! I need to go find my medication. WHY IS KARMA FUCKING ME LIKE A WHORE?!

NOTES ON THE TITANIC NAUSICAA

December 26, 2009




So day one at sea aboard the Nausicaa. (means 'burner of ships' Should I be worried?) So far I have, through strategic maneuvers not unlike those of the military, kept one step ahead of Bobby. AKA: I threw my pager overboard and ran around the ship like someone latched my pants to a rocket. There was a moving speech at dinner and the captain looks very nautical ALSO LIKE SANTA. Ship is overstaffed and under populated and there are already problems with the sound systems.

Got starter pics for Cruella. She says they are trite and boring (she gagged a little when they vomited themselves into her inbox she says) and she expected better of me. Little does she know, I took those photos with my blind eye I'M ONTO YOU! Also met some charming ALSO THREATENING people on board today. May do separate write-up on them as people interest pieces.

PEOPLE I MET:

Keyuri - cute, blonde, Asian, Deaf. I like her for reasons both noble and less so. DON'T INCLUDE THAT IN WRITE-UP Her name sign: shy. She is. Also chirpy. Mols and Kady will love her. Took an amazing first photo. I'm framing it IN A NOT CREEPY WAY.

Becky - took a good first photo. part of ship security I think. pigtails. Has had four ex-husbands and beat up 100% of them. 25% of them filed a suit for domestic abuse.

Juan - introduced himself, took seven shots and passed out, he is my favorite person today. First drunk photo. Bon voyage!

Keane&Res - are one entity. SIAMESE BRAIN TWINS? a not-couple, in denial and not in a funny way LAUGHED ANYWAY and I've got an interview with them Tuesday at The Cult. Meet their drummer, Chesh? Band name is Tumbler Renegade Keane is the punching bag in the relationship and Res is made of nitroglycerin. Can't wait to see these guys play. WHAT IF THEY SUCK? they wont. THEY MIGHT they won't get a write up. Keane might still want to punch me. I'm not sure. Note: never flirt with Res.

STALKING:

Del is staying on I-deck, room 1025, The Moirai VERY APPROPRIATE will approach with caution.

"Did you forget to take your meds?"